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Whatever Happened to Hello?

You didn’t ask for it, so why is he sending a naked selfie?

If you’ve used an online dating site then there’s a good chance, especially if you’re a woman, that a potential suitor has tried to woo you with an unsolicited picture of his junk. In fact it’s starting to feel as though simply chatting with a guy on an app like Tinder, OkCupid, or Match.com is an open invitation for a guy to send a picture of his genitals.

Dating site Match.com looked at over 5500 singles in 2015 and polled them for their biggest turnoffs, and it turns out that receiving sexual photos ranks among the highest on the list. Mainly women were disturbed for two reasons; they didn’t want to see those types of pictures at any point, and that often those pictures were sent without permission, and without any explanation or context.

While the usual greeting for meeting someone on a dating site, just like in life, is usually best kept at a simple “hello”, many men are opting instead for a more forward approach and sending pictures of their genitals as an opener.

It’s not that women are prudes, in fact, they seem to send as many nude photos of themselves online as the guys do, the difference is they tend to wait to be asked, or ask if they’re wanted before sending a topless, (or bottomless) photo. So why are so many men sending out these unasked for, and unwanted nude photos?

To date there haven’t been any significant research done to address this question, so it’s our best guess as to why, but that doesn’t mean there’s any shortage of theories!

  1. Guys THINK Girls Like It!

We all know that men tend to rely more on visual stimuli for sexual desire and that strange guy sending you a pic of his pale, hairy knob thinks that you’ll appreciate his interest. This guy is hoping that you’ll be flattered, impressed, and respond in kind.

  1. They’re Exploring Their Sexual Freedom Anonymously.

The vast online world can be fairly anonymous and when there’s little danger of discovery, people’s inner wild child comes out to play. Research has shown that in an anonymous environment both men and women are more likely to engage in casual sexual behaviours, including the exhibitionism that occurs when you’re sending someone a naked photo of yourself.

  1. It Gets Your Attention.

A key principle of the Pick-Up Artist strategies encourages men to be impulsive and bold, to add shock value to your encounter to get attention. And the premise that negative attention is better than no attention is held at face value, which means the biggest diss to someone that sends you an unsolicited dick pic may be none at all.

  1. The Stamp of Preapproval

Not every guy that sends a picture of his junk is trying to impress, some are merely trying to get past the fear of being shamed or rejected when they drop their pants. Guys can suffer from an acute fear of sexual rejection, especially when related to the size and appearance of their genitalia, and figure if a girl likes their pic then they won’t reject them when the time comes.

It seems obvious to state that you should think carefully before sending a naked picture to someone, after all it can always come back to bite you in the ass; we’ve all heard the story of the guy that sent a girl he didn’t know a nude photo as a greeting on the dating site, horrified and disgusted, she then sent a screen shot to his mom whom she found through Facebook. So before you send a naked photo of yourself to someone online ask yourself this, “did they ask for it?” if they did, then send the naughtiest one you’ve got, but if they didn’t, may we suggest…..hello?

Some funny selfies!

References:

  1. http://www.singlesinamerica.com/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201602/why-men-send-pics-their-junk
  3. http://www.legalaid.wa.gov.au/InformationAboutTheLaw/treatment/Pages/Socialmedia-becarefulwhatyousayorsend!.aspx